What is the root cause of the problem?

I’m tired; tired of listening to horrific stories of gang rapes happening in India. And then there is an outcry throughout the country asking for Capital Punishment for the animals who did this. I’m tired of people trying to find a solution for a problem after it has happened.

Yes, I say all of you are wrong. All this would never have happened if you all taught your sons to respect women in the first place.

There’s not a day goes by when I’m browsing on Facebook or other social networking sites, where I don’t see boys and men talk about women like they have every right to talk about women in the most demeaning way possible. Men of today cannot seem to talk about women in any other context other than Sex.

Of course I don’t say all men are pigs. But sure a majority are!

It is 2012, and yet families are praying to have a baby boy. Why? Baby boys will bring name and fame and dowry to the family. And then, these baby boys are brought up and taught that the sun shines out of their asses. They are shown that their mothers will sacrifice everything so that they can have more in life. But no, they are not taught to respect them and be grateful for this. Instead what they learn from this is- it is every woman’s duty to sacrifice everything and stay home and take care of the men and fulfill each and every wish and whim of these same men.

So, when these baby boys grow up and come out into the world and see independent woman who speak their minds and stand tall among the men of the world, they cannot even pretend to try to understand this. These baby boys are outraged at how these women can look them in the eye and talk as their equals.

See, I don’t think there will be an end to these rapes. In fact, I feel, there might be rapists out there watching the news this very second analyzing what these perpetrators did wrong and how they would do this better without getting caught.

Root cause of the problem is in us. Women and Men, start teaching your sons to respect women. When women wear modern clothes, they are not “asking for your son’s d*ck inside them”. When women laugh and talk to other males, they are not sluts asking to be propositioned.

And if you can’t teach your sons to respect women, then teach them to play with their own ‘instruments’ instead of walking around looking for a place to stick it. Ask your sons to mind their own business instead of looking for a way to punish these outstanding educated women who are way better than them.

Why should a girl suffer just so a man can feel good about himself and give himself an ego boost by demeaning her?

NOTE: Yeah, I know it looks like I am shouting and ranting. But then, after the injustice done to that poor girl, there cannot be any coherent words to describe how one feels.

 

 

One Amazing Thing

I know there has been a long gap between my last post and this one. But i really didn’t have anything to write. Today i do.

Yesterday, i finished reading the novel – One Amazing Thing by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni. I will not say that it is one of my favourite books but that does not mean it is not good. It definitely is a great read and it really made me think. I am not here to write a book review but what i am gonna write here is how that book made me feel.

It made me think of all the little things that we take for granted. We always yearn for more when what we need is right in front of us.

From the time we are able to speak and understand what is being spoken to us, we have been taught to always be thankful for what we have. We are told to respect our elders and be courteous to everyone. We are taught to be faithful and honest and not be greedy. And yet, when we grow up, our first thoughts are, ‘What do they know?‘ ; ‘They don’t know anything about me!’ ; ‘Who are they to tell me what to do!‘.

There always comes a day(believe me, it does), when everything we ever took for granted and every little thing we shunned, are the things we miss the most. Now it may feel like it’s your mother’s job to cook for you and that you have every right to complain about the taste and the texture of the morsels in your mouth. When you get older and have to cook for yourself, it feels like you’d sell anything to get the day back when your mother forcefed you with her hands. 

Now you may not give second thoughts to when you speak harshly to someone beneath your status or sometimes even elder to you. There always comes a day when these things come back to haunt you. Every little tiny detail comes back. You’ll remember the look of hurt on the person’s face, the almost shock at being given a rude reply when they were being so polite to you.

From where we stand, it may seem like there is always another time to make up for something you did wrong. It will always feel like you can fix things another day. But i say, what if the sky falls down, or there is an earthquake or a tsunami or a meteor shower? What if the last thing you spoke to your beloved was how irritating he/she was? Is that how you want your last words to be remembered?

Please take the time to smile and be polite and courteous to everyone even if it takes a little extra effort. It could be your mom or your dad or your teacher or your friend or that random shopkeeper where you buy your cigarettes. No matter who it may be, think twice before you speak. Think twice before you bring the words of your mind into existence through your mouth. They may be the only thing that people remember you by. And always remember to smile. Even if it kills you. Smile.

Just a little brighter

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. —Bonnie Jean Wasmund

If you asked me what is the greatest thing a person can do for another person, I would reply – “share their pain”. There is no great philosophy behind this and I am not trying to be all pretentious by speaking of such deep things. In fact, this is not deep at all. It is simple and it is a matter of fact.

Empathy is something that all of us should try to cultivate and nurture within ourselves. Some of us pretend to have it but it’s all just a facade. When you see a person who has no feet, do you feel pity for that person? Or do you empathize? Yes, so many people confuse the two feelings. Empathy is when you see yourself in that person’s place and feel their pain of having no feet.

Many youngsters of today like to pretend that they care for unfortunate people and animals. They have long discussions and debates on how people should be punished for cruelty to animals and how politicians are corrupt and how they should be making better the lives of handicapped people and the other unfortunate ones. But then all they do is talk. If they really knew how it felt not to have basic necessities, they wouldn’t just be talking. They would be out there doing their part.

Have you ever given a thought to how the person serving you coffee at the coffee shop feels when he sees people of his own age hanging out with friends and spending money so freely? Ever wondered how the kid begging on the street feels when he sees you licking your candy? Ever wondered how it must feel like being a street dog going through garbage bins looking for food? And what about the janitor who cleans the washroom after you leave it dirty? Do you think he likes cleaning up after you?

If you haven’t ever given a thought to how these people feel…. Maybe it is time to start now. Scroll back up and read the quote at the start of this post by Bonnie Jean Wasmund. Now it might make more sense. Let’s try to make someone feel good today. Let’s start by trying to put ourselves in their shoes and looking at things from their points of view. We may not be able to bring about a great change in their lives, but we can try and be more sensitive. And if possible, let us try to make their day just a little better and just a little brighter.