Death by Cupcake

It was a bright and sunny morning in early August; I was at my usual place in my favorite coffee shop, right by the window. It was almost a ritual for me to come here every morning and watch people go about their day.

I guess you'd probably like to call me a pervert with voyeuristic tendencies but wait till you hear more of what I have to say.

No one gave me a second glance as I sat and watched everyone pass me by. The window, where I sat, was across the road from a charming little bakery known as Maggie's Cakes and Bakes. Maggie's stood right next to the Jenkins and Bradshaw Bank. I could see the bank was at its peak hour. All sorts of people were coming and going, trying to finish all their pending work before Sunday.

As I watched, a nice young gentleman came out of the bank and started walking towards the bakery. He did not notice that another young lady, was walking right behind him and talking on her phone. She seemed pretty engrossed in her conversation and was flailing her hands about trying to make a point to the thing on her ear.

Anyway, the nice gentleman had almost reached Maggie's when his phone rang. He was so startled for a sec, that he just stopped abruptly. After a moment, he started patting his pockets and fished out his phone. No one could have foreseen what happened next. Just as this man was about to answer his phone, the lady behind him, not noticing that he was there, walked right into him. He lost his grip on the phone which flew out his hand and hit  Maggie (yes, the Bakery's owner) on her nose, just as she was coming out of the shop with a big box. Maggie, in the moment of sheer shock, dropped the box. As the box hit the stairs, it fell open and out fell the most delicious cup cakes I had ever seen.

As the people then started apologizing and getting things right, I thought I had found the perfect opportunity to score a cup cake. So i stood up and started walking across the street.

You'd think that everything would be calm by now. But, the coffee shop owner's dog, thought that was the perfect moment to chase me across the road. I was so frightened for my life, I went and banged straight into Maggie and the nice gentleman who had just picked up all the cup cakes. And as Maggie let out a huge scream, we heard a huge screech and lots of bangs and blasts. Amidst the excitement and fear and barking, I hadn't noticed what had happened. Apparently, when that stupid mutt had chased me, all the cars on the road had crashed against each other trying to avoid hitting him.

Wow! All this is a matter of moments. And I didn't even get a cupcake! Well, I guess I could be thankful that I am alive. I should really stop sitting at the coffee shop where those stupid humans and their pets are a real menace to me. Just look at how clumsy they are and how everything turned out! From now on, I am going to stay where I am, on this tree, and never come down. After all, no one thinks much for a stray cat like me.

Note: I understand that you were expecting someone to die. But hey, it was an "almost death" by cupcake 😛

The man who lived forever

One of my favorite stories that i heard as a child was the story of “the man who lived forever”.

There was once a man who was afraid of death. And so he prayed to God constantly, asking him to grant him one wish. So one day God finally answered his prayers and appeared in the man’s dream. God asked him,”What is it that you wish from me?” And the man replied, ” I wish to live forever.” God asked him, “Are you sure about this? Because i am going to grant you only one wish. And you cannot go back no matter how much you want to.” The man replied,”I’m sure of it God. I want to live forever.”

God granted that man’s wish and disappeared. The next day the man woke up happy to know that he was never going to die. He lived his life happily. He got married and had a son.

As it goes, its only natural to get old. And with old age comes all sorts of diseases and disabilities.

The man got old. He was diagnosed with many diseases. But he didn’t die. When he crossed 100yrs of age, he became incapable of movement But he remained alive despite everything.

One fine day his son decided that he had had enough of this. Taking care of the old man was taking most of his time and energy. So the man’s son went to a potter and asked him to make a pot big enough to hold one man’s body. When the pot was ready, the son placed his father inside the pot and placed a lid on it. He asked the pot to be placed inside the cellar. And that’s where the old man stayed. His son died. Generations came and went but the man remained alive in the pot in the cellar. Once in a while the old man’s great-grandchildren would hear a cough or sneeze from the cellar. But no one cared.

The old man never saw the light of day again. But he is still alive in some part of the world. He can never die and he can’t ask god to take back his wish.

Moral of the story – There is a time for everything. A time to eat. A time to sleep. A time to live. A time to love. And a time to die. And each thing should be done in its time. Trying to change nature’s laws is going to result in major disappointments.

NOTE: This story is my own. This was present previously in my old blog : http://iamtoxxic.wordpress.com. I have deleted the old blog. And moved some of the posts here.

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